Vision Art Faith meet Beauty
Lately, I've been feeling beautiful. Well, consciously beautiful. Although seemingly the same, the main difference lies in choosing to be and feel beautiful while exploring it's connection to one's sense of self. Growing up, school, my goals and accomplishments were my priorities, and everything outside of that was deemed less important and not really worth my time and energy. My friends would often make fun of me when I'd wear the same shoes everyday for years until they literally became unbearable to wear. (Holes in the bottom of your shoes are fine in the height of summer but not so great during those darn spring showers.) I'd throw the old ones out then purchase another pair to only repeat the cycle again and again.
Functionality is the best word to describe my appearance from my hair, to my clothes to my shoes or even my jewelry. I wasn't caught up on frilly colors, how this or that made me look, or even who designed it. If it served its purpose, it was good enough for me. Historically, I'd compartmentalize my beautiful moments actually. Going out to the club? Look like something kinda sexy/cute. Have an interview? Look like something with modesty yet professional. Know I'm gonna see a cute guy? Look like something but not so much that it's obvious you want attention, lol. When any of these moments arose I'd try just a little bit more to feel okay, be deemed presentable but not in the least head-turning.
My closet up until a few weeks ago reeked of functionality. I have tons of dance clothes (naturally), a couple dresses, few pairs of pants and shirts of various colors and fit. Upon deciding the outfit for the day, I'd choose practicality over anything else or save certain outfits for special occasions. As you can imagine, in quarantine functionality was the king of all kingdoms. I'd wake up, throw something on and go to the store and my hair would be thrown up or down in a way that didn't mistake me for a zombie.
Now you're probably wondering, well, what changed? I can't quite pinpoint the when but being alone all day long for weeks on end can get to you and my joy became a priority. And the closest thing to internal joy is merely feeling good about yourself, because I deserve to feel good. So one day I was literally making a quick trip to see a friend and I conjured up an outfit that made me feel like a queen. I'm talking a fresh fro, gold jewelry, fitted capris, wedges and a peek-a-boo shirt that showed a lil but not too much. As I put the outfit together I surprised myself actually, noticing things about myself that I hadn't really appreciated before. Looking in the mirror I saw and felt beautiful. Hesitantly, I took one last look and walked out the door. Let me tell you, the way I strut-ted to the tram stop was unlike anything I had experienced in a very long time and the best part, is that it wasn't for anyone else but me.
It didn't matter where I was going, as long as I felt good getting there.
I felt light, strong and actually powerful. A power that I feel like has always been somewhere inside of me but in that moment I allowed the time and space to express itself. In addition, the beautiful weather that particular day made me feel as if I was a piece of nature reflected back at itself. The beauty of the trees, the sun, the sky, and the flowers could feel me, look at me and see its own image. A once very invisible Briana suddenly became seen not only to herself but to the larger world with a couple heads turning at the same time.
This day started a ripple effect. Now every day that I wake up, I look at my closet and allow the moment and intention of feeling good to draw me to my outfit and hairstyle for the day. This intuitive approach has even made me more creative in how I put my look together and I've discovered more about myself and my closet. I even Marie Kondo'ed my wardrobe and got rid of anything that didn't make me feel a high vibrational emotion like confidence, love, joy, peace, etc. Now I show up to myself and the world even better because in fully experiencing myself, I fully experience the moment, and the people and things around me.
Bye bye Functionality..... hello Beauty.
Thanks for reading,
And Remember to Always have Faith, Keep a vision, and make art in everything that you do.